When a wedding gift becomes abuse
Sometimes, cultural traditions can be turned against you — how can you tell when what’s happening has crossed the line into abuse? In this piece on dowry abuse, Maria* from InTouch Multicultural Centre Against Family Violence talks about the experiences of migrant and refugee women.
All people have a human right to be safe and live free from violence. Family violence is unacceptable in any culture or religion, in any and all of its forms – coercion, threats, physical, emotional, psychological and economic, as well as dowry abuse and forced marriage.
“Dowry abuse has only begun to attract attention over the past few years in Australia but at inTouch, its presence has been clear since the commencement of our service in 1984. From our experience, simply and without equivocation, dowry abuse constitutes family violence.“
— Ms Michal Morris, CEO of inTouch
Prisha’s story
Prisha* was referred to inTouch by a local service after experiencing family violence, including dowry abuse. Here is her story.
Prisha’s family arranged a marriage with an Indian man who had previously migrated to Australia and become a citizen. After their wedding, Prisha moved from India to Melbourne on a partner visa. From the beginning of their married life, Prisha’s husband complained that her family had not paid enough dowry. Shortly after, the demands for additional dowry started and he said to Prisha that if her parents did not send more money, she would be deported. Her husband threatened to sexually assault her sister and kill her family.
Prisha’s husband forbid her to leave the home and to speak to the neighbours. She was unable to apply for a Medicare card and was prevented from seeking medical treatment. Over time, the abuse became physical. Prisha gained the courage to let her sister know about the abuse and was helped to contact the police. Her husband then proceeded to threaten her family overseas and made a complaint against his wife during the Intervention Order hearing in court, saying that she had married him to gain permanent residency in Australia. Meanwhile, Prisha was not even able to articulate what her status in Australia was because she did not know under what visa category she had been sponsored.
Prisha was the second wife that her husband had sponsored to come to Australia and his second victim of family violence and dowry abuse. Prisha was eligible to apply for permanent residency in Australia through the Family Violence Provision but has not been able to recover her dowry.
*Name changed
