Women, children, and gender-diverse people of all ages and backgrounds can experience sexual assault. It can happen to anyone, anywhere, at any time. Sexual assault is a crime with far-reaching emotional, social, medical, political, and legal consequences. It is a widespread problem that reflects how the basic human rights of women and children are undervalued in our society.
What is Sexual Assault?
Sexual assault can take various forms, some of which are criminal offences. It is any unwanted sexual behaviour from people of all genders that causes humiliation, pain, fear, or intimidation. This includes rape, incest, child abuse, and unwanted or unwelcome kissing and touching. It also includes behaviour that does not involve actual touching, such as forcing someone to watch pornography or masturbation. It’s important to understand that sexual assault is not about sex; it’s about power.
What are the Impacts of Sexual Assault?
Women or children who have been sexually assaulted, whether recently or in the past, will be affected in different ways. There is no ‘correct’ response to abuse. Experiencing or witnessing an assault or supporting a friend or family member who’s been assaulted, can be emotionally traumatic and damaging.
Common responses include:
- Self-blame
- Feeling numb, dirty, or afraid
- Anger and outrage
- Thinking you’re going mad
- Crying a lot
- Feeling alone and friendless
- Having disturbed sleep
- Experiencing anxiety and panic attacks
- Mistrust and fear of men
- Denial
- Having mixed emotions about the perpetrator
- Silence
- Confusion and a feeling of vagueness and unreality
- Thinking you should ‘look after’ everyone else
Commonly Held Myths
The many myths that surround sexual assault are very destructive. By shifting the blame away from the perpetrator, these myths contribute greatly to women and children feeling isolated. Here are just a few:
- Victims enjoy it
- Men are naturally more aggressive than women and can’t control their sexual desires
- Most rapes and sexual assaults are committed by strangers
- Only certain types of women and children are sexually assaulted
And the Reality…
- Sexual assault is a humiliating, violent experience that no one wants or invites
- Most perpetrators of sexual violence are ordinary men and are able to control themselves if they want to
- 80% of perpetrators are known to the victim
- Sexual assault occurs across all social classes, income levels, races, and age groups
If You’ve Been Assaulted, where can you go for help?
There are many groups and organisations throughout Victoria that provide help and support:
- Centres Against Sexual Assault (CASA): 03 5441 0430
- WIRE Women’s Support Line: 1300 134 130
- Victoria Police: 000 for immediate attendance
- Victorian Sexual Assault Crisis Line: 1800 806 292 (after hours) / (03) 8345 3494 (police/emergency)
- 1800 Respect: 1800 737 732 (National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service)
- InTouch Multicultural Centre Against Family Violence: (03) 9413 6500 / 1800 755 988
- Victims of Crime Helpline: 1800 819 817
- SafeSteps Family Violence Response Centre (Vic): 1800 015 188
- Gatehouse (for children): (03) 9345 6391 / (03) 9345 5522 (after hours)
- Victorian Equal Opportunity and Human Rights Commission: 1300 292 153
- Community health centres (Call WIRE for contact details in your area)
Do I Have to Report the Assault to the Police?
This is entirely up to you. If you are feeling unsure, it’s a good idea to contact CASA and discuss your options with one of their experienced and supportive workers. If you have been the victim of a same-sex assault, you can ask to speak to a Victoria Police Gay and Lesbian Liaison Officer.
Can I Receive Compensation if I’ve Been Sexually Abused?
As the victim or as a person adversely affected by a violent crime or childhood sexual assault, you may be able to get financial assistance from the Victims of Crime Assistance Tribunal (VOCAT). This assistance can cover expenses such as counselling and medical expenses, loss of income, and replacement clothing. You may even be entitled to special financial assistance for pain and suffering.
You Don’t Have to Suffer in Silence
You may feel that you will not be believed if you tell someone about your experience. You may have already had the experience of not being believed. As difficult as it may be, the first step to dealing with any form of sexual abuse is to confide in an experienced counsellor or someone you trust who will really listen to you. It will also affirm that the abuse is not your fault and help establish support networks.
How Can I Best Support Someone Who’s Been Sexually Abused?
Trying to support someone who has been sexually assaulted, whether recently or in the past, can be painful and confusing at times. It’s often difficult to know how to act and what to say. You may find it helpful to get professional advice. However, these simple ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ may be useful as a guide.
Do:
- Believe her
- Listen to her
- Stay as calm and supportive as you can
- Be prepared to simply spend time with her
- Reassure her that you are happy to talk about what she wants to talk about
- Help with everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning, babysitting
- Provide reassurance by respecting her strength as a survivor
- Respect her decisions and allow her to make her own choices
- Understand that healing can take time, space, and energy
- Respect her desire to be private or silent
- Encourage her to seek counselling or other professional support
Don’t:
- Blame her for what has happened
- Try and take charge
- Take angry outbursts personally
- Ignore or try to smooth over the effects of rape
- Sympathise with or try to explain the actions of the person who committed the assault
- Insist that she gives you details of the assault
- Offer support you can’t give
