What is child abuse?
If you fear for a child's safety, it's important to act now.
Myth: Children are irreparably damaged by family breakdown.
In reality:
Children are neither totally fragile nor absolutely resilient. You and your ex-partner can help your children feel more secure by not criticising each other or fighting in front of them.
Separation can be stressful for your children, and can affect them emotionally in different ways. Children may think that the separation is their fault or feel betrayed. Whatever they are feeling, they may struggle to discuss their emotions with you, and may express them through their behaviour. Community services can help you and your children adjust to separation and divorce.
What you can do to help:
You can read more in the Family Law Court’s online guide for parents on ‘Children and Separation’. For age-appropriate resources and publications for your children, visit the Family Relationships website.
If you have children, you will have to work out with whom your children will stay with while you sort things out – with you, your partner or someone else. Practical considerations such as where you plan to live, your children’s schooling, your work and your financial situation, can help you decide on the best option for you and your children. Some separated couples take turns to live with their children in their family home, based on share care arrangement. It is also important that you get legal advice about where your children should live and what arrangements can be made.
Myth: Women who don’t live with their children after they end a relationship are bad mothers.
In reality:
Families are not all the same, and although most mothers remain the primary carers of their children, this might not be the best way to go for all families.
If you need help to reach agreement with your ex-partner about future parenting arrangements or want to talk about your situation, you can contact WIRE.
If your relationship ends, you may share the care and support of your children between you and your ex-partner by:
Even if you and your ex-partner are able to work out parenting arrangements without going to court, it may be helpful to seek advice from a lawyer or a Family Relationship Centre. If you feel compelled to agree to a parenting arrangement because you fear for your safety and your children’s safety, seek legal advice and contact safe steps Family Violence Response Centre or 1800 RESPECT for information on how you can best manage you and your children’s safety.
Regardless of how children are conceived, the right of the child to know both biological parents is protected under the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth). This can get complicated where there are biological and non-biological mothers and fathers involved. For details and to find LGBTIQ-friendly legal professionals visit Switchboard Victoria or call 1800 184 527.
If you are able to reach agreement with your ex-partner about future parenting arrangements either by making a parenting plan or obtaining a consent order, you do not need to go to court. This not only allows you to make your own decisions and improve future communications with your ex-partner, it can also greatly reduce the financial and emotional costs of legal proceedings.
A parenting plan is a written agreement that sets out parenting arrangements for children, and has to be dated and signed by both parents. Although a parenting plan is not legally enforceable, if you need to apply for parenting orders later on, the court will take the parenting plan into account when deciding what is in the children’s best interests.
Parenting plans cover such things as:
Parenting orders, unlike parenting plans, are binding, are made by the courts and can be legally enforced with penalties for any breach. You and your ex-partner can agree to change a parenting order (made by the court) by entering into a parenting plan (a joint written agreement between you, not made by the court). See our post on ‘Parenting orders’ for more information. .
You can seek assistance from a Family Relationship Centre or a family lawyer in drafting a parenting plan.
A consent order is a written agreement that is negotiated between you and your ex-partner regarding parenting arrangements for the children. An application for consent orders is filed at the Family Court of Australia; once approved by the court, consent orders are legally binding and enforceable just like any other court order. Before making the orders, the court must be satisfied that the proposed arrangements are in the best interests of the children.
You and your ex-partner can apply for consent orders to be made without going to court hearings. You can get an Application for Consent Orders Kit from the Family Court website or your nearest family law registry or call 1300 352 000.
Community services (not court-based) are available to help you to resolve family issues at different levels:
This information sheet was last updated in 2015
If you fear for a child's safety, it's important to act now.
An option when you can't resolve issues around the care of your children.
Adolescent violence towards parents is a serious issue.